Mike left out a lot of his achievements when he would tell me about himself. Like the ESPN program, he told me later what else he had said that was left out of the program. And when I was at the nursing home when he was watching the live stream of the ceremony where he was being inducted into the Hall of Fame at the Hill School, that's when I found out a lot more about his achievements. He teared up listening to Harry speak on his behalf about what kind of athlete he was. He was awarded with swimming events when he was young. He was the Captain of his Hill School teams for Wrestling and Lacrosse. He was chosen to be on the All Ivy League team when he was playing football for Harvard. It wasn't just that he was good at things like this, people loved him. The relationships he formed with people throughout his entire life stayed with him for his entire life. How many people can say that? By contrast, I tried playing recreational softball and was picked on relentlessly for being a poor player. I quit. I tried playing volleyball in high school after being recruited by the coach. The other girls on the team were cruel, I was miserable but I didn't quit because the coach was so encouraging and nice to me that I still enjoyed playing the game. I imagine Mike as being to other people who my volleyball coach was to me. Someone who through the sport was able to affect your life in other ways too. Mike sent out a Christmas card one year retelling the story of a wonderful experience he received from the team he was coaching in football. This was after his diagnosis. The kids deferred their Christmas present money to donate to the ALSA to help find a cure for their friend, Coach V.
As awesome and inspiring as he was for all these people through sports, it isn't how I know him. It was so strange for me after he died to read all these Facebook posts retelling their experiences with him. Mike the athlete, the traveler, the sports fan, the attorney, the fun guy at the bar, the guy who was there for his friends...... the only way I knew Mike was from a hospital bed. I never had him reach for my hand, I never heard his voice say he loved me, we never went on a date. Actually, we did go on dates! I came up with this idea where we would have a date night where when I showed up to the nursing home he would have typed out for me telling me where he was taking me and what we would be doing. My favorite was he was picking me up in a vintage car and we were to go to the ballet and then finish the evening in a dark quiet corner of a jazz bar eating tapas. Luckily, I had dressed appropriately. :)
I love hearing all the stories of who Mike was before ALS. I love continuing friendships with the people in his life. He made some incredible friendships and most of them have reached out to me in the kindest ways. They have made themselves available to me to call or text to talk about Mike anytime I'm lonely and missing him. Mike was a stellar athlete, but more than that, he was a stellar friend.
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