I had the pleasure of meeting more of Mike's friends this weekend. Mike had a friend from his Newark days who has been very kind to me even when Mike was still alive. Funny story.... I had posted (begged) on Facebook for anyone to come help me with Mike, nothing too difficult just holding him while he was on his side so that I could safely change his bed linens and give him a bath. I had added that if they didn't want to see him naked, then they probably wouldn't want to volunteer. Mike's friend sends me this message saying "there was a time when I would have LOVED to see Mike naked"..... she made me laugh. I walked into Mike's room and read it to him and he just did his normal innocent grin.
Back to present time.... this friend of his saw the pictures I had posted on Facebook from my trip to The Hill School to Mike's 30th reunion and mentioned that I should come to his 30th from Newark Catholic too, so I asked the guy putting it together and he kindly added me at no charge.
When I arrived, I kind of just stood outside the building for a good long time... I wasn't going to know anyone there. No one. I'm not shy and I do go most places alone, but this was different. I was walking into a room of people who knew my Mike from when he was young. I figured that they probably knew his family well, maybe even still kept in contact with them, and knowing that his family didn't like me I was apprehensive about meeting any bad feelings towards me. Luckily, that wasn't the case. They may have had a notion of not liking me but they didn't act that way towards me.
I stood off to the side by myself for awhile just watching people. They had set up a table and had some pictures of Mike and a lit candle. The flood of emotion that hit me for Mike's reunion at Hill wasn't present this time. I smiled when I saw the display, but I didn't feel the need to cry. The first person to talk to me was this friendly woman who was there as a spouse. I didn't quite know how to introduce myself.... I'm with Mike Vollmer... but he died. I'm Ann Francis, Mike Vollmer's girlfriend..... I'm a spouse too... kind of....
I don't even remember what I came up with. When she knew my connection to the event she excitedly told her husband. Thank goodness I had someone who knew I was coming and had a story to tell me right away about how he knew Mike. It was an athletic one... of course. LOL Soon I had a lot of people coming up to me saying "Hi Ann, I'm ________". Since I am used to being by myself it was weird for people I haven't met before to know my name. I think I may have even said a couple times "how do you know who I am?".
The friend who had mentioned the reunion to me showed up a little later and she greeted me with the most wonderful hug. Even though I didn't know her either..... I kind of had some connection.
I had to limit the alcohol since I would be driving another hour back home that night, but everyone else kept drinking which made the evening even more interesting. LOL
I heard of some of the things that happened at their house in Newark.... the mustang, the bronco, the parties, the pool, the senior party, the barn..... and the gerbil..... The gerbil... that had to be the funniest story I ever heard of Mike. I may not remember it correctly but it was something like this........ Mike was always a messy big guy who always had a shirt half tucked in, ink stains on the pocket... that kind of thing. The desks they used were the kind with the stool connected to a table that lifted to store your books. His friend said she saw the desk always moving around and the lid to the desk always kind of jumping. She figured that this was Mike's doing because he was such a big guy he didn't fit too comfortably in this arrangement. He was getting in trouble for chewing pens and pencils... I guess he never seemed to have a functioning writing utensil. One of the teachers was reprimanding him for chewing on a pen and that's when it was discovered that Mike had been keeping a GERBIL in his desk.....a GERBIL..... wth?? I about choked on my beer when she told me this story. And I could picture it. The look that he gave me all the time when he didn't feel the need to explain himself further was the same one I pictured him giving this teacher.
It was really nice hearing stories about his home life and how many people have such wonderful memories with his whole family.
In a way I feel sometimes like I'm still in a relationship with Mike, but I'm living it backwards now. Today I have cried some just thinking about how I wish I would have been able to experience all these positive interaction WITH him. Today more than most, I want more. More time with him. I want a do-over so I could add what I know of him now to how I loved him.
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